• Cynthia Miller

My Comedy Writing Bestie Who Doesn't Know Me...

Updated: May 17, 2021

I posted this on FB a little while back:

"Just giving props where props are due. Alesia Etinoff is the business 💜 Her "Avant-Guardians" is still my all-time favorite digital series. I mean, a black guardian angel who's hilarious, Woke and in therapy? Guarding the future 3rd black President, who she calls Creepy Charlie? Gold! Creative genius gold! And, Zainab Johnson as the sassy archangel- respect, ma. I see you shining, Sis, and I salute you 💯 "

This got me to thinking, maybe I ought to check out Alesia's page and learn more about what she's up to these days. 'Avant-Guardians' was like a million years ago (not really, but it FEELS that way!!) After about 30 minutes of FB stalking and rummaging through her webpage (and laughing until I cried watching her stand-up), I had the thought that we would totally be friends in real life. Seriously - this girl is my comedy writing partner in another life. How could her weird, brilliant, comic genius not but adore my geeky, awkward, comic gift? And, we're both black women! If you're not a black woman, the value of that struggle and black girl magic could totally be lost on you... but I digress...

In the world of my colorful imagination, Alesia and I are crushing it: she's sharing her cool by introducing me to really cool things: like 3 PEAT (if you don't know about this comedy improv sketch group, well... it's probably because you don't have an amazing, imaginary best friend like Alesia Etinoff. Not that SHE'S imaginary, but ... nevermind!). Anyhow, we'd be deep in the Black Revival going on in Hollywood right now ("thank you very much for leaving the door open Sister Waithe, Elder Ericka L. Johnson, and we wouldn't dare forget about you, Ava Boo! But we're talkin about comedy writers right now, not about knockin out that $100 million ceilings... Oh sure, yeah girl, you just sit back and let those gorgeous locs recline on the chaise. No Ava, that's not how we...We are on the come up now... So? SO? So, it ain't "an armless sofa" when you're on the come up, Ava. It's a CHAISE!")

So, anyway... back to me and my amazing gal pal, Alesia Etinoff, straight slayin. We'd, of course, join the likes of "Black Women Who Brunch", then grab our currently non-existent, but "totally going to be manifested in real life" boyfriends for a night of chill (I'll generalize "boyfriends" since I'm not quite sure how much committment Alesia is willing to take on right now. I mean, just because my daily prayers for the husband I know God has for me are on point, doesn't mean hers are... Truthfully, it wouldn't be fair of me to push that conversation on her again about her fear of commitment... )

...so, yes, I'm a fan of my girl Alesia -- I'll be the main one applauding her when that awards season comes around (the one that she's bound to have sooner or later). I'll tell everyone who dares to talk about how much of a fan they are 'to go sit in the corner' because I was a real fan i.e., BEFORE the world knew her name (back when her Youtube channel only had like 1,200 people).

(sigh) smh.

On second thought. Listen, Alesia. Real talk?

I don't feel like you have my back like a true ACE ought to. For example, how are you just gonna let me go off on black national treasure Ava Boo-vernay like that over a dag on sofa? ("I know I said it wasn't an sofa... you're missing the point of this conversation entirely, Alesia! See? See? This is what I'm talkin about! You never really listen to me!")

(deep breaths)

... Look, Alesia, you're swell and all, but I think maybe we need some time apart... to, you know, like reassess the merits of this iconic and real (but not entirely) friendship...

(* update: forgot I even wrote this rant! still funny.)

Check out Alesia: http://www.alesiaetinoff.com/

Check out Avant-Guardians: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYWU0UC2zIk-c9k7pxm42Vg/feed

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